I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
