I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
