I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
