don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
