Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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