i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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