now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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