ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
