I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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