i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
