this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
