why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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