god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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