every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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