Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
