I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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