Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm always down for nudity.
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