On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
