nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
