Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
