I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
