My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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