Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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