I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
