why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
