If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
