OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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