At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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