shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
