I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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