I'm lost and stupid without you.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
