I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
