I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
