im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
