this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
