i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
