Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
