Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
