remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
