Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
