I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I deserve this hangover.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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