The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
