The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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