Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
