Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
50% drunk capacity currently
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
MIDGETS
????
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
