the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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