all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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