I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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