He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
