Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
